Can’t Hold God in Your Hand

stack of bibles

I found it!

I have been thinking over all the changes I’ve been through on my spiritual journey throughout my life. I have been Baptist, Pentecostal, Nondenominational Charismatic, and gave very many others a try for a time, you name it. None of these lasted very long at a single stretch until I would decide I’d found something better or go back to a former one. I bounced back and forth from one to another and back to the other like the cue ball on a pool table for years while continuing to seriously study the scriptures in much depth. I have been trying to sort this all out looking for answers especially since the recent unexpected eerie interlude I suffered. I have been seriously thinking over all of my life’s spiritual journey, but especially my spiritual wanderings over the past 18 months or so because of that most drastic sudden change when I shut down my whole ministry which I had worked on for over 10 years or so, “not1lost ministries”. I was teaching the truth of Universal Reconciliation (UR) and the salvation of all people through many outlets in a fairly large respect. When I came to believe in Universal Reconciliation or Christian Universalism about 12 years ago I put my anchor down right there and never had a hint of a thought of ever changing. I was absolutely sure I would never change; this was it; I knew I had finally found the absolute irrefutable biblical truth of God’s plan for mankind through Christ as revealed throughout the scriptures; Old and New Testaments, Genesis to Revelation. I was overwhelmed with pure joy in finding the truly Good News of the Gospel to all mankind. I could not stop writing about it; the words flowed out of me like a river non-stop; making teaching videos on YouTube as well. I was grounded steadfast in the faith of Universal Reconciliation seemingly without a chance of ever changing corse; far beyond any other I had studied or followed over the earlier years.

“Christian” Universalism

I’m not speaking of a pure Universalist as many teach that today such as the Unitarian Universalist. I’m referring to the Christian Universalism demonstrating the salvation of all people through Jesus Christ as the savior of the world as is clearly set forth in the bible, further developed by some early church fathers which was restrained for several centuries through persecution by the early Catholic Church. It then resurfaced in the mainstream about the 1700s and began to be publicized by several authors spreading throughout many circles, although it never completely died out. This movement resulted in the formation of the Universalist Church of America in 1866 (This church today doesn’t teach the same message as in the beginning) and The Primitive Baptist Universalist in 1907 (Very few still exist) to name only a couple. There are more, however the best place to go to get the largest amount of well established resources with the same view as I have is

The Morning Something Broke

This was until the very strange incident happened to me; shaking my faith down to the very core of my heart, soul and spirit. I wrote extensively about this in an earlier blog “Be Honest with Yourself”. Something suddenly, unexpectedly broke in my mind and spirit that morning which I will never forget. I began to act and think very strange; all at once picking up several bibles, looking at them, their binding, pages, type set, various verses for no apparent reason; as if I was inspecting them but I didn’t know why. Then suddenly I didn’t seem to know anything! 

     Although I knew something was going wrong I could not stop it. I didn’t speak to anyone about this for several months other than close family members. Only now I am beginning to fully grasp the whole episode and try to share it with others. Nevertheless, as I explained in the blog “Be Honest with Yourself”; after seemingly miraculously coming back to my senses months later as I was just driving down the road, I had asked the Lord for an answer as to why this all happened to me. I received no response at that time other than a realization of what I now believe was I broke under the mental, emotional ambivalence I was dealing with at the time. I realized what caused this to happen to me (explained in “Be Honest with Yourself”) but still no answer as to what caused me to get off so staunchly on such a wide variety of opposing theological positions afterwards; when I know I knew better…  What follows here is I believe an answer to that question and request in that prayer.

God Answers Prayer – And Questions…

I started reading back over my journal back a few years but especially focusing on the last 18 months. One advantage to journaling on a computer is that you have the ability to do word searches of whatever type you like pulling up all that you have written using a certain word, phrase or topic; especially easy since I use a lot of hashtags. This I did as I mused over all that has taken place hoping to find some common denominator or pattern of some sort. I was totally surprised by what I pulled up after doing a few searches on relevant words on the subjects I have bounced around over this time period; in which I bounced around quickly from Calvinist to Arminian to Sabbatarian legalist, Annihilationism, to Pentecostal; all supported in the bible and all I boldly proclaimed over social networks now to my chagrin. It took hours of reading to sort this all out. As I pulled together these queries I began to notice connections of trending words and phrases over these months and it began to come together.

I was not prepared for what I was about to see from my own writing…

I suppose it’s rather ironic, although it seems that after reading these journal entries over these last 18 months which specifically had to do with changing what I believed during that time period or some new twists on what I believe. It was evident; are you ready for it, I wasn’t… The primary influence impelling me to make these changes has been my personal bible! You might say; well of course. No, I mean “my personal bible” was the problem; the one I hold in my hand! As strange as that may sound, apparently it’s the obvious truth according to my queries of my own journaling. Don’t take me wrong, I do not mean to say the Word of God, but a physical bible you hold in your hand – which is what I was doing that morning I flipped!

Something To Hold-On to

Let me explain. It seemed every time I changed my thinking on something it would always be connected with the the Bible I had come to believe was finally the best one! Specifically study Bibles. I would get a new version or study Bible or revisit an old one, thinking this one is right and has all the answers. Now I can get on with the program with this one! I know, that’s a lot of import to put on on one study bible. I can see that now, what apparently I was blinded to it then. I certainly was not fully aware of how much weight I was putting on one particular bible.


At this perplexed, vulnerable, weak point in my spiritual life; I suppose I was grasping for something to hold onto as it seemed everything had fallen apart. So, I had always done; I grasped onto my bible which I could hold in my hand with words I could see and read on the page. Putting all my trust in that book in my hand was a big mistake as unusual as that may sound coming from a devoted bible believer. This being the case, it was especially and regretfully true when I got into the King James only camp and their philosophy of using the“Authorized” “English” Bible ONLY! The KJV of course and the EXACT WORDS in it. Never mind what the Hebrew or Greek manuscripts and languages say, you can’t trust those! They said God has given you his word “you could hold in your hand” in THE AUTHORIZED KING JAMES VERSION 1611 of the bible, that’s it! They make it all sound so right and trustworthy. Forget all the rules of language and translation from one language to another. You can’t trust that either! This seems so imprudent to me now, although I do understand their reasoning which does seem to make sense when you only listen to them… This is exactly what they want you to do and why they tell you to not use dictionaries, commentaries, or any language tools or rules!  You may find this hard to believe but they do have a very convincing argument if you only listen to their side of the issue. Be careful reading their literature. Even though I was going through a difficult time perceptually right then; I’m no dummy and they snagged me. Most of them won’t admit it but they are saying that the KJV is an “inspired” translation just as much as the original Hebrew and Greek manuscripts were; and even MORE-SO as they say it “corrects”these original manuscripts in places where “God inspired” them to change the meaning of words! I know, absurd right?


Now it’s hard to believe I would get sucked into such insanity but like I said; they have a very convincing and conclusive argument and I was at a very vulnerable weak point in my spiritual life. It took a mastermind at manipulation to come up with this reasoning and how to present it in such a convincing way .  Whether they even realize it themselves or not. It’s possible even with good intentions; they are being led by the wrong spirit and don’t even know it. The KJV only camp and the doctrines that come in the same package including eternal torment in Hell, as I journaled about it, apparently was the single most prevalent occurrence in my journal that caused a drastic change in my understanding of what the bible teaches. I was in a very spiritually disoriented state of mind at the time and wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

I was like a blind man groping in the darkness for a piece of furniture

The KJV Only camp gave me something I could physically see, hold and believe in. It was a sedating soothing spirit of something certain in the midst of all the uncertainty. This caused me great harm and confusion in my bible studies when, at the time, I thought it was bringing me a great light. It is clear now how wrong I was, now in the true light and true Word of God – Jesus Christ. This all leads back to my desire of wanting to believe I held the ‘Word of God’ in my hand in that nice leather cover that felt so good in my hand. Maybe subconsciouslyI was thinking I was able to hold God in my hand!

Eventually believing the KJV is the Very words of God; (which would greatly simplify bible study) failed the test and came up short in obvious ways that cannot be overlooked – Unless one completely disregards the manuscripts we have now discovered as in error in many places as the KJV camp claims. While at the same time believing the King James translators were inspired of the Holy Spirit to infallibly write the exact meaning of the Hebrew and Greek words in the manuscripts they had; changing many words and even when deciding to paraphrase certain passages. This of course is nonsense. And Yes, the KJV is a paraphrase in many places and so are all other translations that are readable… Take a look at a literal interlinear and you will see what I mean.

Nevertheless, I do not regret encouraging people to have and read the KJV. I believe every bible reader should have one because of it’s great literary value and strong traditional readings. Also it is more accurate in many places where more recent versions seem to me to have changed the meaning for no apparent reason other than just to change it; which I believe, in those places was a mistake

A New Bible or a New God?

     Wanting to believe the physical bible you hold in your hand is The Word of God is much like those ancient Israelites wanting that carved block of wood in their home to be able to see it and bow down to it, rather than the true God who is invisible; which would require more true faith. (Isa 44:13-20) Now we know the true Word of God was only visible in the person of Jesus Christ and today by the Spirit of Christ in you! Not written on paper with ink… That’s hard for a staunch bible believer to grasp, I know. Nonetheless it is the Gospel Truth as proclaimed by our LORD in the person of Christ and expounded by the Apostles.

As for as all the bibles, it seems, according to my journals, I have always been looking for my answers in my latest choice of new bible versions; usually a study Bible or an old one I’ve revisited. Needless to say, I did not realize this at the time. It may well be that this all happened so that I would be shaken hard enough for me to admit it. I love Bibles, seems maybe a little too much maybe even addicted to them! I especially like new bibles, that new leather smell, the new crisp pages all formatted in a new and intriguing way; even carried away with the font type and all. I noticed in my Journal each time I would get a new bible or decide to start using an old one again I would go off on a new rabbit trail especially if it was a study bible with new and different notes. I have been blessed to have many versions and study bibles, I suppose I have about 50 or more of them now (physical bibles, many more in software) nearly all of them, high-quality expensive bibles. Each time I got one it was like a new beginning, a fresh start, looking for what I didn’t know until now! I was always thinking now I have the best one it’s clear sailing from here, get out the markers and pencils and get to work! No telling what I will find in this one, I’ve got it now! That new excitement would always cool down after a few weeks or months at most when the new wore off. Then I would realize I didn’t know anymore or know the LORD any better than I did before I started using it. So I would be a little depressed over the whole thing for a while. This is all hard for me to admit now that I can see it; even a little disconcerting and humiliating.

Worshiping a Paper God…?

hold bible  This is a truly a shocking revelation. I can see now I have been putting my trust in my bibles more than in the LORD, listening for what “the bible says” rather than listening for the LORD’s voice present with me in Spirit. What a revelation, God is a Spirit; (I’m being sarcastic with myself) He is not made of wood formed into paper with ink, Smyth sewed together and wrapped in a leather binding. Although, this is where I have been looking for Him, listening for Him and trying to see Him. I feel so foolish and silly. I am not saying the bible isn’t spiritual, profitable, or helpful to read, it certainly is. And yes we can read some of the words of God in the bible; I probably believe that more than many. Although it looks like I overlooked the God present with me in Spirit while I was reading about Him in the bible. I feel like an idiot. One can know “about” God by reading the bible but you will never “know” God apart from being in touch with His Spirit present with you and in you in a living relationship. The true Word of God is “Living and Active” – The Living God in Spirit though Christ; not a piece of dead physical material. Paper made from wood, ink, tanned leather and gold gilding applied to the pages are man-made; think about it… Worshiping that would be considered – an IDOL! That’s right, I said it, I have made the bible an idol! I worshiped it without even knowing what I was doing for many many years. Words fail me to relate how shocked and dismayed I am over this revelation! It truly has been a “revelation” from God because I was totally oblivious to what I was doing. God had to shake me up pretty hard to get my attention on this one. Had I not known it was coming from Him and someone else told me this it would’ve made me very angry. There is no way I would have believed it had not God himself made it overwhelmingly clear it was coming from Him. All the things God has shown me I was doing that made it blatantly clear I was worshiping and glorifying the bible were things I was actually proud of! Needless to say even though I had good intentions; I am now ashamed of it. God keep showing me things I was doing that make it clear I had put the bible I hold in my hand; (Not the word of God) on the same level as God Himself! I had to go back over this whole essay and change every place the word “bible” was because I had capitalized it every time – Bible, as if it were a person. I did this subconsciously in all the writings I have looked at since realizing this. I can remember backspacing and capitalizing “Bible” if I noticed I missed it. I was not even aware of why I was doing this but felt a little pride in doing so for some reason…? I remember years ago when I started always making sure I had a bible within hands reach of wherever I was; even putting one on my dashboard and looking over at it from time to time with a feeling of pride and security. Yes, “security” I caught that word today as I though about all this.

Where is Your Security?

The bible had become my security, comfort, helper, as long as I could see it within reach I felt a sense of security. Everything would be OK because I had the word of God with me right there. I was also a little proud that everyone could see that I always had it there; I didn’t realize this then and would never have admitted it if someone had brought it to my attention. I seemed to think that the Bible is my security instead of the God that it represents who is present with me in spirit. It would appear that I was ignoring Him or not even acknowledging that He is there in reality “in spirit and truth” as Jesus said we must worship God.The more I see this the more embarrassing it seems that I would be so blind to the very presence of God in spirit while really believing that He was wrapped in leather in a book. I was very proud of opening my Bible where people could see how I had marked it all up and highlighted versus and put notes on the side – look at this! I really believe in God! – this book! I was so carried away with my bible I would gaze at the font face, the line and letter spacing and sometimes think; how beautiful the word of God is! Now that sounds a little strange to me… I might as well to have laid it on the table and got on my knees and bowed down to it. I did ask it questions by flipping it open and pointing to a verse; what foolishness! In my minds eye I can see God sitting by with His arms crossed saying; “No go ahead, help yourself, see if it talks back!”

Read The Manual and Put The Keys In Your Pocket

This would be like being given a new car but taking the manual to it and reading it over and over and dreaming and thinking about driving your new car – all of the things you could do with your car, what it was capable of, how nice it is on the inside, how much power it has, all the bells and whistles in it;  but never actually getting in the car and driving it. While it sat outside in the driveway you stare at the manual, mark it all up, make notes in it; dream of what it will be like when you drive it! While it is sitting right outside your window in the driveway! I know it must be God showing me these things and I feel so foolish.   Amazing how blind one can be to our own motives and true reasonings; even what we are putting our faith in. Again realize, I am not talking about THE Word of God; I’m speaking of a physical man-made bible.

Every Word Which Proceeds From The Mouth Of God

Jesus said we would “man shall live by every word which PROCEEDS FROM THE MOUTH OF GOD”. Because of my preconceived notions of what the word of God is;  I would read this verse and get a mental picture of a physical bible every time; totally missing the point! Jesus was not speaking of the written word of God at all which should be obvious by the words he chose. This is clear in the original language as well. Jesus later said “my sheep hear my voice” and follow “ME”. It appears from my journal over the years and my remembrance even further back; I have not applied this method of following the LORD; thinking I should find God inside the covers of the bible; trying to follow God through the pages of the bible; on my spiritual journey. This way of looking at the bible is going to be a hard habit to break; as well as a complete paradigm shift in my relationship with God. I’m thinking that this is the reason God allowed this whole thing to happen; for me to come to this point and see this. I have to say I really haven’t thought of my main day to day relationship with God any other way than looking for Him in the bible.

Your First Love

Wait!!! Yes it was different in the very beginning, when I first met the LORD Jesus! We were like two buddies running around together all day every day! It would be hard to put into words just how close I felt to Jesus back then; all day long every day, no matter what I was doing! Wow, I’d almost forgotten that; what sweet memories just now came back to me! I’m going to re-think my way of devotion and study and daily walking with Jesus. It’s clear I will have to because this bible centered relationship with The LORD is obviously causing more problems than it is solving. Not that it’s all bad; no, there’s been a lot of good. It’s just that now I see it could be better – and more real – real security! God doesn’t change; versions and study bibles do… Although, To be honest, I really don’t know how to best go about this. I can understand how it could and should work but I honestly don’t know how to do it. Amazing, as long as I have known the LORD, studied the bible, been faithful in my devotions, and even ministered for years; and I don’t know how to do this?! I was told once early in ministry; to be a good minister/preacher you had to be transparent… boy I’m laying it all out there now! I do admit, it makes me a little uneasy. Nonetheless I feel strongly that I must get it off my chest and on the page for the world to see. I do feel quite vulnerable right now but I’m going to be obedient to the voice of the LORD in my spirit.  I believe the Lord has shown me this misconception of what the word of God is; so the Lord is going to have to show me how to go about correcting it. Lord help me please!

“Ask and You Shall Receive”

Hopefully I can find some resources written by others that have found themselves on this same path so they can show me what The Lord has shown them. I am open to suggestions. I feel like I have been brainwashed by my own bible! What an oxymoron! This is going to be a whole new way of looking at my relationship with God on a minute by minute, day by day bases.  I know It should be more intimate and closer to the truth of who God is, what God is, and where God is. God is obviously not wrapped in that leather binding where I have been looking for him! Yes his words are in the bible but his words and him are not the same; an extension of Him yes; but His being and presence no. His spirit is another dimension to our relationship entirely. I’m aware that some would disagree with what I am saying here about the bible; that’s fine, I understand, been there myself… Don’t get me wrong, I do believe we can learn about and hear from God through reading the bible. Although, just as my words are not me, they came from me out from my inner being but I am sitting in this office chair. I am not on this page I assure you. This is so surprising that I haven’t seen this in this way before in all these years. (Except like I said; at the very beginning of my walk with the LORD Jesus; then I’m reminded of Jesus telling a church that they had lost their first love…) It’s like something just blew the cob webs out of another part of my spiritual mind and it is opening up. This is all very hard for me to take in but I am beginning to see it in my spirit. I am going to find it hard to talk about God without quoting bible verses every sentence. This is all I have known, my method of expressing what I believe God is saying or has said. Although I suppose there’s a big difference in what God said and what God is saying here and now to me personally. It’s good to know what God said back then but what we really need is – what is God saying to me today, now! Not that there would be a conflict between the two; there should not be, although there is a difference in the mode of reception and perception of one or the other. I’m not even sure how to say what I’m saying although I know it is true in my spirit as it comes to me even while I write this and think it through. Lord help me in Jesus name.

A New Holy Bible-God or A New Holy Spirit-God?

Here’s a shocker! Maybe I could have an even more intimate relationship with God instead of a relationship with the book. Of course I’m being facetious.  For instance, if someone had my journal that I have just been reading in their hand (if it was on paper) it would in no way be me, not the real me.This is not to say that I don’t think I’ve had a relationship with God I know I have. I also know I have heard from God through the bible. Although I know I have done a lot of good in the ministry of UR It seems I would now have to say it has been less than it could have been. I hate to admit it but It’s been a head knowledge relationship for the most part. A walking bible instead of a Living God. Although I know I have the Holy Spirit, it seems I haven’t been involving Him to the extent I should have. That doesn’t sound good does it? I’m not saying all that I have written and taught about God and the bible is wrong; Oh no, I believe it was good in the ministry of Universal Reconciliation anyway. I am talking now about my “personal” experience with God. This would be like someone who read all the textbooks and the manuals; knew them forward and backwards, but has never actually done the job. I’m sure I have missed out on some things I could have accomplished, understood or enjoyed along the way.

Happy Are The Humble, They Realize What They’re doing

The more I think of this the more humbling it gets. God has been right here all the time wanting to speak with me, love on me, fellowship with me, and hear back from me while I had my nose stuck in a book, albeit a holy book, still yet a book. I feel like the guy in Isaiah I made reference to earlier that cut a block of wood and warmed himself with part of it, cooked with part of it, then made a personal god and worshiped the other part of it. The bible is made of wood – paper, man-made materials, ink and leather or some other binding. It is not living, as much as I wanted to think it was. I had put the bible on a much higher level than the man made book it actually is. We should not equate the book with The Living God written about in it. The bible itself warns us of this very thing.

Some woodcarver measures a piece of wood, then draws an outline. The idol is carefully carved with each detail exact. At last it looks like a person and is placed in a temple. Either cedar, cypress, oak, or any tree from the forest may be chosen. Or even a pine tree planted by the woodcarver and watered by the rain. Some of the wood is used to make a fire for heating or for cooking. One piece is made into an idol, then the woodcarver bows down and worships it. He enjoys the warm fire and the meat that was roasted over the burning coals. Afterwards, he bows down to worship the wooden idol. “Protect me!” he says. “You are my god.” Those who worship idols are stupid and blind! They don’t have enough sense to say to themselves, “I made a fire with half of the wood and cooked my bread and meat on it. Then I made something worthless with the other half. Why worship a block of wood?” How can anyone be stupid enough to trust something that can be burned to ashes? No one can save themselves like that. Don’t they realize that the idols they hold in their hands are not really gods?” (Isaiah 44:13–20, CEV)

The Bronze Serpent open bible

This also reminds me of the story of Moses and the serpent on the pole. The Israelites looked at the serpent on the pole and were healed; it worked just as God said it would.Although if you read on further in the history of the Israelites they eventually began to worship the serpent on a pole Num. 21:8 and King Hezekiah had to destroy it. Because It had become an idol to them and they were even burning incense  to it and worshipping it!

At first it saved them!

And the people spoke against God and against Moses: “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and our soul loathes this worthless bread.” So the Lord sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and many of the people of Israel died. Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, “We have sinned, for we have spoken against the Lord and against you; pray to the Lord that He take away the serpents from us.” So Moses prayed for the people. Then the Lord said to Moses, “Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a pole; and it shall be that everyone who is bitten, when he looks at it, shall live.” So Moses made a bronze serpent, and put it on a pole; and so it was, if a serpent had bitten anyone, when he looked at the bronze serpent, he lived.” (Numbers 21:5–9, NKJV)

 Then had to destroy it because people began to worshipped it

And he did what was right in the sight of the Lord, according to all that his father David had done. He removed the high places and broke the sacred pillars, cut down the wooden image and broke in pieces the bronze serpent that Moses had made; for until those days the children of Israel burned incense to it, and called it Nehushtan.” (2 Kings 18:3–4, NKJV)

Throughout the years in my bible study the LORD has consistently brought this story to my attention…Auhhum…

The LORD has always inspired me as I write; but not on the level He is here and now!

I really am shocked, dismayed, and dumbfounded! It has become overwhelmingly clear through reading my own journaling of my spiritual journey; that the Bible has become an idol to me! (hopefully not to you) It’s made of paper, ink, glue, leather and thread; filled with man’s best effort to retell the story in it. I have to admit that it is man-made and therefore highly probable that it is not perfect just as man is not perfect… This literally just came into my mind – THE BIBLE IS NOT GOD; (Let that soak in) the one I was looking for in it. The LORD has always spoke to me as I write; but not on the level He is here and now! Wow! Praise The LORD! Jesus told the woman at the well that worship must have nothing to do with physical things as she was speaking of mountains and temples; He said,

“God is a spirit and those who worship God must worship Him in spirit and in truth” John 4:24.

John said said Jesus was the word of God; Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life”

[John 10:9; Rom. 5:2; Eph. 2:18; Heb. 9:8; 10:19, 20][John 1:14, 17; 8:32; 18:37][John 11:25]

Jesus Christ also said after his resurrection he would send the Holy Spirit to be the word of God as spirit who would speak to them and tell them what they needed to know.

And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever

John 14:26

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you. 

John 15:26

“But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me

John 16:7

Nevertheless I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you. 

(It’s just pouring into me now! I can barely keep up!) I’m now reminded that Jesus told the Pharisees

 “You search the scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and this is they that speak of me. Yet you won’t believe in me that you might have life” John 5:39

Wow, this is really coming together now! Yes! and Paul said “The letter kills, but this Spirit gives life 2 Cor. 3:6 and “we don’t worship by a written code but in heart and spirit” Rom 2:29; 7:6  Oh my LORD what have I missed!  Also in Hebrews chapter one; “God has spoken to us in times past in various ways but in these last days has spoken to us by His Son” Another one! “The Word of God living and abiding in you” 1 Pet. 1:23; 1 Jhn 2:14 andyou are our letters, not written with pen and ink; but with the Spirit of the Living God! on the heart. not paper…” 2 Cor. 3:3 I think I’m getting this even now as I write… God is coming to me now, in a new, fresh and living way, by the Spirit, speaking to my spirit, in this chair, in this room, right now!

To my astonishment, much of the time I  have been ignoring the very God I have been looking for in the bible; Who is right here with me, present, in Spirit and Truth; revealing these things to me even now… Praise God!

     I almost didn’t even share this, but I feel compelled to; first to get it off my shoulders and second that it may help someone else possibly struggling with the same situation.


2.cor.3.6.spirit to spirit

There is a lot more scripture I could add proving this point but that would be missing the point wouldn’t it… so will leave it at this. I believe the Spirit of God has made the point quite clear. I no longer need hundreds of scriptures compounded to make sure I heard right what the Spirit was saying. He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit is saying… enough said.

This has been a personal spiritual journey. Nonetheless, it can’t help but to spill over into my teaching ministry which should change from that of an intellectual perspective in studying the written word of God as if it were God; to a spiritually motivated reference letting the Spirit of the Living God speak; whoever has an ear, let them hear what the Spirit is saying. Even so, speak LORD Jesus! Am I saying that all that I write and say from now on is inspired? No way, I am saying from now on I will follow the Spirit of the word more than the letter of the law as the apostle Paul expressed it. I am saying the word of God doesn’t always come in a nice neat package as some would expect it. On the contrary, many times we are surprised by the form it may take. No one expected The Word of God to come as a baby wrapped in rags laying in a feeding trough. Everything changed that day and will never return to what it was before. I’m convinced there are many more surprises ahead for all of us. God just loves to do it that way for some reason. God hides Himself then pops up in the most peculiar ways and will continue to do so now especially in the the Government of Living Spirit? (2 Cor 2:8)  This is God’s new plan of action. The plan wasn’t written out with ink on paper, with pages and pages of legal footnotes, killing your spirit. It’s written with Spirit on spirit, his life on our lives!” (2 Cor 3:6)

I’m so excited! I’m personally looking forward to a fresh new exciting daily walk with the Living God in Christ leading me each step of the way! I am breathing in fresh clean spiritual air right this very minute and it is fantastic! I love the LORD more than I ever have. I now know I don’t have to try to tie everything to the bible in some way as well as depending on it for all my answers. I know the Living LORD Jesus is right here with me and in me through the Holy Spirit of Christ energizing, renewing, and filling my mind with His thoughts, words, truth and most of all, His love for all people! This will never contradict what the written word of God says; however as the Apostles and Christ himself has shown when speaking by the Sprit and quoting scripture; it is not always as literal as literal and locked up as one  might have thought. God’s word is no longer written on stone; but the fleshly tablets of the heart, living, moving, being whatever is appropriate and true at the time.  The truth is a living person not a word on a page – Christ Jesus, The Word of God in Spirit and Truth; Who will always be living and active, morphing and materializing in different forms yet still the same. God doesn’t need the stones, the scrolls, the paper or ink; He wants to write His word on your heart!  Jesus Christ in person is The Living Word of God writing a new life on my heart; even now revealing it through me; living His life in me and it is so freeing I could shout!


The New and Improved,

Dennis D. Caldwell

However as a last note. I realize some will strongly disagree with what I have written. This will probably even anger many; It would have me at one time. They have not seen this yet just as I didn’t for a long time even though God was all the time trying to get me to see it. My heartfelt understanding prayers go out to you. I will leave you with a final thought for those who cannot see what I am trying to say.

“I don’t believe in magic.”
The young boy said.
The old man smiled.
“You will when you see her”

One thought on “Can’t Hold God in Your Hand

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